i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize