I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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