me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
