if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
