It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
