You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
should my penis look like a turkey
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
