Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
There r osticjed everywhere
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
