no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
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