Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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