sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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