Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
