i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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