Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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