This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
