Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
