Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
