He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm