Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Better not shit yourself at the gym.