OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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