I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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