It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
