Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Randomize
