I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Randomize
