in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
