I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
the condom got lost in my hair
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
