Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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