new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
