My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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