Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
