So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize