so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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