Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I think a kid would responsible me up
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
