You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
