i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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