i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
