Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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