just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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