This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
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