I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and Iβm great with hard things ;-)
Randomize