you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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