I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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