I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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