it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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