I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
