is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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