this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
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