yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
