plz talk dirty to me
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
