Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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