Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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