i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
This is the high leading the old right now
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
