He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
