We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
