I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
