I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Randomize
