i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
