Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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