at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
