You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
