Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize