thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
